So so very agitated this evening. I hate journalling when I'm pissed-off but it seems to be the only time I sit down at the keyboard.
I avoided writing after the election results because I figured there would be many more articulate accounts of the circle-jerk we just watched unfold over the past 5 weeks, but it takes my dear bitch of a mother to catch my ire on the topic and fire me up again.
Let me say first-of-all, that I really hate that she's found new lease in calling me whenever she feels like it because I'm single and there's no risk of her having to talk to Ted when she calls. Add to that, that she now has cancer and expects me to pick up some torch of sympathy/support and Johnny is drawing blood from his tongue with his incisors. I only take her calls to be nice. I don't need the aggravation, and I don't care what kind of person it makes me to want nothing to do with my own mother. She's an ignorant old bitch.
*and breathe*
So she's blathering on about fuck-knows-what tonight while I'm making myself some chow. Then she asks me if I voted. Immediately I'm gritting my teeth.
Y'wanna know who the fuck voted for the god-damned axis of evil that is the Conservative party???
I've got one of them in my own family. Two if you count her husband who probably votes Conservative if he knows what's good for him living with that brow-beating old bag.
At any rate, I wasn't going to say anything other than "yes, I voted". But then she starts going on about "thank God Stephen Harper was re-elected, did you vote for him?"
...and I just couldn't... I mean... really... honestly...
...fuck.....
....that.
I was like "mom, you don't want to talk to me about this. No, I did not vote Conservative. Stephen Harper is evil and a liar." To which she (aghast) replied... "Oh John you shouldn't talk that way about someone you don't know. He's a Christian!"
me: "Oh, like you know him. And like that makes him any less evil."
her: "well, I'm not fighting about this."
me: "oh no, of course you're not, you're just happy your candidate was elected. The man is a liar. He bold-face-lied his way through this campaign using scare-tactics about the Liberals and the economy to line-up the uninformed."
her: "I wouldn't vote for a Liberal if there was no one else to vote for after that Chretien and everything he did. And I'm not talking about this anymore."
me: "You vote Conservative and you don't even know why you do, or what they stand for."
her: "This is the good thing about a democracy, you have the right to vote for who you choose."
At that, I let it go. It was not worth my frustration. It's not worth the anger I'm feeling right now. Hopefully we can bury the Conservative party right along with all the aging Christians in this nation as they kick the bucket.
I'm fucking sick of small-mindedness. This whole global economy crisis could be the best thing that ever happens to the planet. It makes me sick that in a matter of a few short hours that it takes the stock market to crash that assholes like Bush can treat it like the end of the world and beseech their country's people that there's nothing more important that shoring up the economy by throwing more and more insane amounts of paper at it, meanwhile, there are entire continents of people suffering from hunger, disease and social injustice, and disasters loom and claim innocent lives, and the environment keeps warning us of its collapse.
But oh no... there's nothing more important than the average north american's ability to run up their credit card or live in a house that infinite numbers of other people could never DREAM of affording, much-less calling home or shelter.
Our societies are FUCKED!
Our priorities are all FUCKING WRONG!
And so much of this massive, pus-filled lesion we call the free world just chugs along unchecked, and tucked neatly behind convenient superiority complexes of people who won't even stop to question their own beliefs in the name of decency and equality for all. It makes me ashamed to be a human being.
*and breathe*
The fact that only 59% of our (Canadian) population even BOTHERED to go and vote saddens me to no end. The apathy just grows and saturates. Apathy is just another form of evil. And people like Harper just sit back and laugh at the discord of the left.
Why not? That bloated sack-of-shit has solidarity that only comes with a following of narrow-minded idiocy. It takes very little to keep them pacified and appeased because they're not interested in the truth. They just pick a pet-issue (oh I don't know, say) like the economy... and don't bother to educate themselves on the greater scheme of things. Like Harper's Bush-like love affair with oil companies and corporations, and his BLATANT LYING about the Liberals raising taxes. WTF happened there? Collective selective deafness???
That being said... the Liberal in my riding WAS elected, and I didn't even vote for him. (Because I knew he would.) I voted Green. And I felt good about it even though I knew they hadn't a snowballs chance in hell. I believe a groundswell has to start somewhere, and I just have to believe that the bloated sack of shit Prime Minister we have will eventually try to pull something, and at the very least Layton and the NDP will go for his throat with the Bloc in tow and take the Conservatives down.
Say what you want about Stephan Dion, I do not believe for a second that the man was a weakling or a liar, and as painful as the Green Shift plan (and as stolen from the Green Party as it was) was likely going to be for our economy at first... it was a bold move in the right direction for Canada to become a world leader in environmental expertise and redeem ourselves in the eyes of the rest of the world who might just follow suit if we picked-up the torch. But now we face more stagnant delays, while wise countries like Sweden are thriving and already on their way to sustainable green-conscious economies. But thank goodness Harper has a blue box if only to match his party's colour-scheme.
Fuck you Shirley (my mom)! And Fuck you Harper! Fuck you sideways with a rusty chainsaw!
*and breathe*
Our world isn't going to wait forever for us to realize what actually matters. It's not waiting now.
I think I'll curl up with a book and my dogs and pretend I live on Mars.
Peace - by Eurythmics
Stop the world
Turn out the sun
I'm so tired of it turning round
Stop the world
Call it a day
Leave it all behind
Leave it that way
Peace
Is just a word
Is just a word
Stop the world
Just let it bleed
Well we've taken more
Than everything we need
Stop the world
Just shut it down
[Just shut it down shut it down]
There's no point in it
Spinning round
Peace
Is just a word
Is just a word
Stop the world
Take it any where
It's just that
Living here is more
Than I can bear
Stop the world
Just pack it in
Well we've reached the point
Where no one ever wins
No one ever wins!
Peace
Is just a word
Is just a word
contemplative
listless
crushed
aggravated
